34 things I know at 34

A note celebrating my unnotable 34th birthday.

I turned 34 this week. 

After a weekend at the Byron Bay Writers Festival—meeting Jane Harper, laughing with Candice Fox, tearing up at Trent Dalton, and embarrassing myself in front of Jan Fran—I left unbelievably inspired. Booker-listed author Charlotte Wood told me (the audience) to stop being a big baby and just do it—and I was going to. (It felt specific to me.)

Get ready, literary world; I’m going to write my ass off this week!

But I arrived home to a super sick toddler who only wanted to sit on my lap and eat custard. So we spent my birthday in our pjs, watching Frozen, and I didn’t do a lick of writing all week. 

Life, eh? The balance is in the unbalance.

Nonetheless, here’s 34 reflections in celebration of my unnotable but not unimportant 34th birthday. 

1. Don’t take people’s word for it—I find out for myself.

2. My ‘happy place’ is now my home. At one point, that seemed impossible.

3. Just because my life might not look the way I expected, doesn’t mean my dreams haven’t come true.

4. Travelling is essential. Full stop. 

5. I own more than I need. 

6. Money might not buy happiness; but it buys safety, security, and a less stressful existence. As well as the Meredith Dairy fresh goat cheese.  

7. Being a mum reveals some harsh truths about yourself, but also some strong capabilities. 

8. EVERYTHING takes longer than I think. 

9. Meditating daily works. Who knew!

10. Never waste a mortifying moment; turn it into an embarrassing anecdote to be shared.  

11. People aren’t looking for advice (unless they ask); they’re looking for acknowledgement, validation or encouragement. 

12. There is no perfect plan that will make a toddler who doesn’t want to sleep, sleep. 

13. Follow on: sleeping next to a toddler sounds cute, but it’s a nightmare—literally. It’s such a stressful sleep that it feels like you’re in a nightmare. 

14. I dreamed of raising a clever, strong-minded, independent daughter—I just never considered the practicalities. 

15. When I want to do something badly enough, I find a way. If I haven’t found a way, I probably don’t want it that bad—or I’m subconsciously letting The Fear take control. 

16. Procrastination is rooted in fear, perfectionism and emotional dysregulation.   

17. I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again: Therapy shouldn’t be optional. 

18. Action is the remedy to my anxiety. 

19. Growing my greys out isn’t nearly as bad as I thought it would be—underscoring the point that the way you look is the least interesting thing about you. 

20. Having said that: I always have and always will love a perfectly constructed outfit. Look fab, feel fab, etc.

21. Adulthood essentials: a doctor who listens, a hairdresser who listens, and a mechanic who’s honest—even when you’re not listening. 

22. The washing never ends. 

23. Kids are a great way to make new friends. 

24. When you’re feeling low, remind yourself of all the reasons why your friends like you. If you have no friends, that might be why you’re feeling low. 

25. Wherever you are, be there. And put your phone down. 

26. Busyness for the sake of busyness is avoidance. 

27. Slow. Down. 

28. Making it rather than buying it isn’t nearly as hard as it sounds. Especially dips.

29. I’ve nearly perfected the beloved tuna dip of my teenage-hood. (Shout out to Michelle Fisher for shelling out weekly on a exorbitant but incredibly delicious dip that all her daughter's friends came over and devoured.)

30. What could be more joyful than watching a two-year-old perform ‘Let It Go’ in a highly flammable nylon and tulle Elsa dress? 

31. For every worry, thought or idea, someone’s probably written a helpful book about it. So: read more. 

32. I must regularly do something that expands my mind or reminds me how small I am. Awe and wonder are crucial for a healthy mind. 

33. Having a drink in a bar alone is next level freedom.

34. Most importantly: I’m proud of myself.